It's been a crazy few days. If there is anything I've learned about living in New York it is this: the winter makes people disappear into hobbit holes. When the temperature reaches 60 degrees, they come out of said hobbit holes, whip out their iPhones, and begin calling all the friends they forgot they had over the last five months.

Despite the craziness, nothing really strange has happened or weird or even funny. Nothing I feel warrants a story. Some drunk frat guy puked a few seats down from me on the F train on Saturday night. It held up the train for a half hour which I found disgraceful. A cab driver gave me his personal card in case I ever needed him (after a hilarious cab ride in which he told me about his salsa-dancing roommate he's convinced is a whore) and said "Listen, when you call me to pick you up, TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE! Don't just call and say 'Come get me' cause if you don't tell me a location, I won't know. I'm not magic, okay?" I met a cat I actually liked named "Balzac:"
I went to Brooklyn Flea and found these:
There is, however, something I would like to address. Like most people, I have a stat counter on this blog. Because I refuse to actually spend money on it, I only have the basic one. Included in the basic one is the most common keywords that bring people to my blog. For those of you who don't know what that is (Mom, I'm talking to you) the keywords are the words that people type into Google or another search engine that bring up my blog. Usually it's Katie Friel or Anna Friel and Katie Holmes or vodka or Mormon housewife sex.

However, over the last few weeks, OVERWHELMINGLY, the most prevalent searches that bring people to my blog have been things like:
"what does it mean when pet boa lies alongside owner" "snake stretching body" "sleeping on the same bed with pet boa constrictors"

How many people are out there and sleeping with their boa constrictors? If you are reading this and I do not know you and you sleep with your boa constrictor, why? Please let me know. I really, really need to know the answer to this. Is there a secret subculture of people that Dick Hebdige failed to uncover of people who sleep with their snakes?